Understanding The Transient Nature of Your Friends (and yourself)

long friends chilling over pizza

Your friends will come and they will go. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. As a matter of fact it is, in many ways, exactly as it should be.

When we are young, our friends are almost exclusively the product of proximity. In other words, we become friends with those who are around us all the time. Granted, we will gravitate to those who we have at least something in common with however, the frequency with which we encounter them is the primary driver. Occasionally, we may have so much in common and feel such a close bond to a childhood friend that we may remain friends throughout an entire lifetime. This is a blessing beyond measure. But most of the friends we make at school, church, from down the street, will fade away as people move on and change. This is completely normal.

As we get older, while proximity still plays a role, we begin to choose our friendships based much more on shared interests, shared values, shared opinions, shared activities, and the like.

Then, eventually, we notice something. We look back some number of years and realize that many of our friends are simply no longer a part of our lives. They may still live nearby even, but we simply don’t spend time with them any longer. Typically this happens over time, excepting a major disagreement or something similar.

The reason for this is relatively simple. Most of our friends are relative to who we are as people in any given stage of our lives. As we grow, change, become different people, the foundation of the friendship weakens and people move on. Such is not only to be expected, it is the natural progression of things. It is rarely a comment on the value the friendship once had.

And while we may miss the friendship, this process allows us to continue to grow, to change, to become different and hopefully better versions of ourselves. We can, and should, look back with fondness and appreciation on friendships from our past. Most likely there are many lessons we learned, memories we created, good times we shared. There is no reason for sadness.

The new friendships and bonds we forge will be in keeping with who we are becoming as people. These new relationships will nurture and support us just as the old ones did in their appropriate time and place.

So, take heart. The impermanence of all things is one of the truths about life that make it so precious.

Be gentle with yourself and others. Be happy.

Check out the podcast episode…

Check out the Happiness 2.0 Podcast – https://podcast.edwardgdunn.com/

Subscribe to the Happiness 2.0 Newsletter

Get easy to implement happiness tools in your inbox weekly.
Share the happiness

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *